Ten Horror Comedies That Every Fan Should See by: Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

My two favorite movie genres are Horror and Comedy, so whenever the two get blended into a nice little package of laughs and screams it makes me smile. First off I want to make clear that these are not what I consider to be the best of the best and need to mention they are in no certain order either. There are tons of classics that are not on this short list and mainly because I felt they were known by basically everyone who hasn't been living under a rock and ten is a very small number but I have not forgot about awesome films such as "Shaun of The Dead", "Scary Movie 1 & 2", and the holy grail of horror comedy films the "Evil Dead" trilogy.

01. An overstressed suburbanite and his neighbors struggle to prove their paranoid theory that the new family in town is a front for a cannibalistic cult in the 1989 classic "The Burbs" starring such big names as Tom Hanks, Carrie Fisher, and Corey Feldman. This is flick has always fallen securely into my comfort zone, and whenever I need a pick me up there's a good chance I will toss on "The Burbs" for some laughs. This by far my favorite Tom Hanks film, and believe "The Burbs" to be a perfect example of how to blend horror and comedy seamlessly.

02. Seventeen year old stoner Anton Tobias (Devon Sawa) wakes up one Halloween morning to discover that both of his parents have been murdered. Turning to his best buds Mick (Seth Green) and Pnub (Elden Henson) for help he soon discovers that years of being lazy and slacking has caused one of his hands to become possessed by the devil murdering anyone who stands in its way in 1999's "Idle Hands". This is one of my all time personal favorite horror comedies that have ever been created. As a big fan of basically everyone involved it was a no brainer when it came to adding it to the list. And who can forget the debut of Jessica Alba as the punk rock girl next door.

03. Alien brain parasites that enter through a mouth start turning their hosts into a killer zombies in the Fred Dekker's 1986 masterpiece "Night of the Creeps". If you have by some chance never seen this flick, do yourself a favor and make it happen and in the very near future, a true classic in the realm of horror comedies. "Night of the Creeps" perfectly blends so many sub-genres into one film its mind blowing, a nice blend of 50's drive in horror, zombies movies, creature features, cheesy cop flicks all rolled up into a package of blood soaked gore and stomach hurting laughs.

04. When two employees at a medical supply warehouse accidentally release a deadly gas into the air, the vapors cause the dead to re-animate in Louisville, Kentucky. Craving one thing and one thing only more braaaiiins in 1985's "The Return of the Living Dead". As you can tell by an earlier article entitled "F*CK! I love Return of the Living Dead", I love this flick. It's not only one of my favorite zombie films but also horror comedies, and is a sure win if you are looking for something retro and fun to watch with some friends.

05. A small, sleepy Utah town gets an undead wake-up call when all of the townspeople of Mormon faith suddenly transform into flesh-eating ghouls! Now, a group of 'non-believers' unaffected by the mysterious epidemic must band together to survive the night and answer the burning question: How do you kill a Mormon zombie? In the 2010's "Book of Zombie". This movie came out of left field for me, but has earned its self a spot on this list. A truly unique take on the zombie sub genre that will leave you laughing your ass off. If you loved 80s gore infused horror comedy then you will have a blast with "Book of Zombie"

06. Roger Cobb (William Katt) is a author who has just separated from his wife, who has just moved into a new house in hopes of working on a novel based on his experiences in the Vietnam War. When strange things start occurring in the house it's not long until it becomes a battle for his very own sanity in 1986's "House". This movie is right up there for me with "Evil Dead", it may be the talking stuffed animal heads but they both had the same feel to me and I love them both. I use to watch this flick every time I got a chance growing up, it use to come on USA's "Up All Night" now and then and would cause me to miss school the next day every time. Pop some popcorn, grab some buds, and sit back and enjoy a true classic.

07. A young man's mother is bitten by a Sumatran rat-monkey. She gets sick and dies, at which time she comes back to life as a flesh craving zombie in the 1992 epic gore magnum opus "Dead Alive". This movie was infamous when I was a kid for making many non horror and even a few horror fans truly sick to their stomachs. It had buckets of some of the sickest gore of the era and enough laughs to keep you confused on if you should vomit or snort and giggle yourself into a frenzy. All I'm going to say is zombie on zombie sex one being a GILF go watch it, experience it, become a better person for it.

08. A barrel of radioactive waste is lost out in the woods of a rural community. Some local rednecks find it and use it as part of their still, soon enough everyone who has consumed the liquor starts turning into flesh hungry zombies in the Tromaville classic "Redneck Zombies". Tromaville are the kings of horror comedies and this happens to be one of my personal favorites from them. There are so many memorable moments in this flick you'll be having flashbacks for decades to come. If you loved the Toxic Avenger flicks but are not familiar with Troma beyond that, this would be a great flick to get you hooked on the sick and twisted world of Tromaville.

09. A group of men head to a remote village to help one of their friends get over his divorce; when they get there, though, they discover that all the women have been infected with a virus that makes them man-hating cannibals in 2009s "Doghouse". If you loved "Shaun of the Dead" chances are you will have a good time with "Doghouse", it's one of the better new horror comedies to come along in some time and is highly recommended by myself. While it is a bit of a "dude" movie geared mostly towards the male demographic, I'm sure both sexes can walk away from this one with some good laughs and memories.

10. A young man comes to spend the summer at the remote desert ranch of his father in hopes of repairing their estranged relationship only to find that his father has found himself a young sex bomb who is now living with him. Soon bodies start to pile up and the young man suspects his father has lost his mind and started butchering young ladies, but soon enough he will find out that the killer beyond all the mayhem is closer than he could ever imagine in the 2005 sleaze horror comedy "Pervert!". You know I'm going to keep this one simple here it goes lots of T&A, gore, and a killer penis if you haven't decided to watch it by now there is something wrong with you.





- Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

F*CK! I Love Return of The Living Dead by: Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

Growing up in nowhere Kentucky much of my time was spent renting random horror films from various mom and pop video stores with my friend Brian. I was never really into sports or the other various social outlets you have pushed down your throat as a child, scouts, etc, so much of my childhood was spent in front of a Television screen and nine out of ten times there would be some sort of horror film being viewed.

Cover art was a huge deciding factor back when I was a kid when it came time to choose horror flicks to watch, without such things as the internet it made keeping up with the best of the best a lot more difficult. The only form of information we had was what we got from various monsters magazines like Fangoria, and the trailers that would be included with each VHS.

I remember the first time I walked past the VHS box for "Return of The Living Dead", by this time in my life I was already really into the punk rock scene, so once my eyes locked onto a group of what appeared to be punk rock zombies I was sold. An already big fan of George Romero and the original dead trilogy, zombies had become a big part of my viewing schedule. Long before it was the in sub-genre I found myself obsessed with zombie culture and would rent every sub-genre film I could get my hands on regardless of where it was from or who made it. When I thank back to those days "Return of the Living Dead" always comes out on top as one of the most important not only zombie films of my horror journey but one of the most important horror films in general.

I love everything about "Return of The Living Dead", from its flawless soundtrack that even to this day I still consider to be the best movie soundtrack ever created, to its beautiful display of good old fashion practical effect driven gore, and who can forget the endless stream of quotable lines from a cast of unforgettable characters.

While other kids knew that Bo knew best, I wanted to be just like Suicide (R.I.P. Mark Venturini 1961–1996) and honestly a lot of my style today can be traced back to the character with just a dash of The Breakfast Club's John Bender (Judd Nelson) for good measure. As a kid who looked up to many of the punk rock greats Suicide had it all, he had a badass rundown ride, wild friends, and who can forget the jaw dropping sexy Trash (Linnea Quigley) by his side. Oh how I use to spend endless hours day dreaming about Linnea Quigley as a young boy, perhaps this is even the reason why I have spent much of my later years chasing after tattooed girls dressed head to toe in black and leather.

"Return of The Living Dead" also had some of the best special effects from the era, I remember just sitting speechless during the first viewing being totally blown away by how awesome the gore and zombies were. The scene with the medical dog cadavers that were split in half started barking is forever burnt into my brain, along with the zombie being tied down on the table and interrogated. This film has so many quotable moments it's ridiculous.

"You think this is a fuckin' costume? This is a way of life." - Suicide

"Send... more... paramedics." - Zombie

"More BRAINS!" - Zombie

"If you love me you'll let me eat your brains" - Freddy

Just to name a few, not to mention the entire conversation I mentioned above with the half zombie female, who informs them that she needs to eat brains to kill the pain of being dead. The conversation between the paramedics and Freddy about their symptoms being those of death also really sticks out in my head as a very memorable and just all around magnificent scene.

All I know is I absolutely love this film, and if by some chance you have never seen it do yourself a favor and go watch it as soon as humanly possible. For me personally this is most defiantly one of my all time favorite horror films and will always find itself on my top ten list safe from ever being bumped off. There are few movies I have watched since "Return of The Living Dead" that have left such a strong impact on me in all the ways it managed to do as a film. Audibly, visually, and mentally it's a total package flick filled with laughs, gore, sexiness, and enough zombie mayhem to satisfy even the most fanatical fan of the reanimated corpses of the dead.

- Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

Dr. Dale's Zombie Dictionary The A-Z Guide To Staying Alive (2010) Book Review by: Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

Do you often find yourself worried about how you would handle yourself during an zombie apocalypse? Are you afraid one day the dead shall reanimate and start eating loved ones like human finger sandwiches? Well then I have just the product for you! Dr Dale's "Zombie Dictionary The A-Z Guide To Staying Alive" will assure the safety of yourself and those who you hold close. Dr Dale will give you a crash course in zombie 101 that you will not soon forget, be prepared and not a victim when the dead come knocking on your door!

With a lot of zombie media flooding the market these days it can be easy to overlook some really cool zombie related material such as, Dr Dale's "Zombie Dictionary The A-Z Guide To Staying Alive" which is must have for any collector of zombie swag, it is filled with tons of information on the flesh eating horde we have all grown to love and also many survival techniques and tips for living as long as possible once the dead rise and start eating the living.

I personally had a blast reading this book and while it is for the sake of humor and there is a lot of humor used within its pages, it also has some really good tips for surviving the zombie onslaught, one of my favorite being the description of a mine that is located in Pennsylvania that would be one of the best places to house a commune of human survivals for an extended period of time. I also absolutely loved the section on your run of the meal human stupidity, warning of such things as not screaming "Hello" randomly after hearing a noise then proceed to walk towards its location screaming "Hello" as to say here I am Mr. Zombie, come feed on my brains it's ok I don't mind.

The art work that is scattered throughout the book, is also really well done and amusing, there were many illustrations that put a smile on my face for a very long time, my personal favorite involving a Kangaroo. A lot of the pictures are so cleaver they would be tattoo worthy, for any of you walking dead fanatics looking for some ideas.

Everything from aardvarks to zoos are covered in this well written and informative book, after you finish Dr. Dale's "Zombie Dictionary the A-Z Guide to Staying Alive" you will be on your way to a PHD in zombie relations and survival studies.

Overall I really enjoyed this book and it truly is the A-Z of everything zombie, this would make a great gift both for the zombie expert in your life or for the aspiring zombie newbie to read for knowledge of the walking dead.

On behalf of The Liberal Dead I give Dr. Dale's "Zombie Dictionary The A-Z Guide To Staying Alive" a well deserved 8 out of 10 and recommend it to any zombie fan as a must read.

8/10



- Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

Cropsey (2009) review by: Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

Staten Island natives, Joshua Zeman and Barbara Brancaccio had often heard the urban legend of "Cropsey." It was a cautionary tale invented to keep them out of the abandoned buildings that remained of the Willowbrook Mental Institution. Cropsey was supposedly an escaped patient who would come out late at night and snatch children off the streets sometimes with a hook for a hand, other times with a bloody ax. But in 1987, Jennifer Schweiger, a 13-year-old with Down syndrome, disappeared from their community. For Zeman, Brancaccio, and the other kids of Staten Island, their urban legend became real and the reality they would uncover in "Cropsey" a truly uniquely hair-raising documentary that proves fact is more terrifying than any urban legend.

I watch a lot of true crime documentaries and also read a lot of books on the subject; I have always found myself fascinated with not only horror films but also the source material many of their writers gain their ideas from. Real life fears and tension are always more terrifying to a viewer than anything made up and too over the top to be real.

"Cropsey" will leave you with an inner chill for hours after its runtime is completed, the thought that someone would be so cold and heartless as to murder several children with mental disabilities is one that makes it hard to sleep at night knowing that such evil exists, not only on our television screens but also in our own backyards.

This documentary will force you to think and to form your own opinion on Andre Rand, is he a sick and depraved child murderer? Or was he simply a misunderstood soul whose only crime was looking scary and being the victim of his very own mental disorder? In a day and age when such horrible crimes occur and the pressure on police to find out who is responsible mounts, it is not uncommon for an innocent soul to find themselves in a prison cell based on looks and how easy it will be to push a negative image of the person into the minds of the general public. This may very well be the case with one Andre Rand, but at the same time he makes it hard on himself to believe he is innocent with his cryptic behavior and unwillingness to be helpful in anyway, this creates a truly thought inducing documentary that will leave you going over the evidence provided for months to come trying to solve the mystery of "Cropsey."

One of the things that most impressed me about this documentary was the success of the film makers when it came to showing both sides of the fence using interviews of those close to the children and also friends of Andre Rand. This is not a one sided story by any means when it comes to the evidence that is given to you as the viewer to process. I believe that this is the films greatest achievement, it never feels like an attack against Andre Rand, but instead just the facts given honestly and from many different sources who are on both sides of the fence, when it comes to his guilt or innocence.

The most haunting segments for me personally has to be the footage of the hospital back when it was still active and how horribly its patients were treated, it honestly reminded me of a giant internal mass grave where you were only there to wait until you took your final pain filled breath.

If you enjoy true crime and are in the mood for a very in-depth and riveting look into one of the most infamous crimes in New York's history then I highly recommend you view "Cropsey" as soon as possible. Available both on DVD and also currently on Netflix instaview this is a must see documentary.

On behalf of The Liberal Dead I give "Cropsey" a 10 out of 10 and award for honestly and accurately telling both sides of a very tragic and hard to believe story, film-making at its finest.

10/10

- Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

The Loved Ones (2010) Review by: Shawn Savage

I love going into films completely oblivious. Granted, a lot of the times the results aren't pretty, but if you're going in with no knowledge, and no expectations, it's hard to be that disappointed. Sometimes though you discover a real hidden gem. That is the case with "The Loved Ones". This is the type of film that one could only hope would get a theatrical release. Sadly, it's gone mostly ignored, and will be dumped straight to disc in most territories, while empty headed crap like "Paranormal Activity" rocks the box office.

"The Loved Ones" opens with our main character, Brent, played by Xavier Samuel, as he's driving around with his father. Soon, what appears to be a bloodied, half naked teenage boy runs out in the middle of the road, causing Brent to veer off the road, resulting in an accident that takes the life of his father, and leaves him an emotional mess. Brent feels responsible for the death of his father, and his fruitcake of a mother doesn't make matters any better. Brent appears to be coming to grips with his life in a teen angst sort of way, with a super hot, sex-crazed girlfriend to help him through the dark times. Tonight is the night of a big dance at school, and Brent is soon approached by "the weird girl" in school to ask him to escort her to the event. Having a girlfriend, Brent turns her down. This turns out to be the worst mistake of his life.

One complaint that seems to be most prevalent in regards to this film, is that there is a subplot involving Brent's friend taking a disturbed "goth" chick to the prom. People seem to think it's unnecessary to the plot. The reality is, this aspect of the film works well on different levels. On one hand, it serves as a device to drop the audiences guard, grounding them in reality so that when the insanity begins, it's that much more effective. On the other hand, it serves well to tie the entire film together. It is very much necessary, and has a very important role to the overall plot of the movie. It also happens to be very well executed, and a blast to watch.

The acting in "The Loved Ones" is outstanding. Robin McLeavy, in particular puts in a career making performance. The performance of the actor that would play Lola would make or break this film. McLeavy is so convincing as a psychopath that she actually gives this film a lot more credibility than it would have had otherwise. Don't get me wrong, it's a remarkable film in it's own right. There are some superb production values, solid performances across the board, and an awesome soundtrack. I just feel the main thing that needs to be noted here is Robin McLeavy's performance. This may sound a tad hyperbolic, but I really don't feel there's been such an engaging performance as a psychopath since Anthony Hopkins in "The Silence Of The Lambs".

To say the very least, "The Loved Ones" is brutal as hell. The special effects are spectacular. Several moments in the film made a seasoned gorehound like myself cringe. Trying to teeter the line here, so as not to spoil anything, but an idea straight from the disturbed mind of Jefferey Dahmer was implemented here just to show an extra level of insanity, and it really added not only to the gore factor of the flick, but the overall creep factor as well. The effects, from what I could tell were all handled practically, and as mentioned above, some of them are absolutely cringe-worthy.

It's a crying shame that this flick will go mostly unnoticed. Film making like this is a rarity in today's market, which is mostly over-saturated with quick cash-ins and half-assed attempts at monetizing big name films from the past, and gobbling up the next popular foreign film for Americanization. "The Loved Ones" is gruesome, sexy, highly polished, and twisted as hell.

9/10

My thoughts on "The Walking Dead" premiere on AMC by: Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

I'm sure each and every one of you is very much aware of the fact that "The Walking Dead" premiered last night on AMC. I'm also sure that most if not all of you were posted in front of your televisions with drool trickling down your chins, after you quickly realized this was not a trick in any form but the purest of treats.

As a fan of the comics and also a fan of the horror genre I was beyond pleased with how the opening episode unfolded. The entire time I felt as if I had been tossed into a time machine and returned to the golden days of zombie films, "Night of The Living Dead", "Dawn of The Dead", and "Day of The Dead", for a moment in time I returned home to when Romero was the king and released only solid gold zombie goodness.

It was a wonderful night to be a horror fan, and I believe it will go down in horror history as a very important night as well. I was so blown away by how much gore AMC got away with in "The Walking Dead", from the blood splattering head shots, to the impressive zombie make up, special FX wise I would not have changed one thing. It's going to be interesting to see how many people go out and buy the books now that they have been exposed to the franchise.

** WARNING SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT **

The intro really sucked me in right away, and I have to say when that first little girl zombie showed her face I felt myself squeaking like a school girl inside. The slow burn of showing you the degree of the sudden zombie uprising was incredible; the thought of waking up in a hospital in a world you no longer recognize is truly terrifying. "The Walking Dead" in my opinion did a flawless job at creating tension as well, when Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln), came around the corner and we got our first glimpse at an actual horde of flesh craving zombies, it quickly became a scream out loud in happiness situation. Not to mention how intense it was during the tank scene, when he put the gun to his head I stopped everything I was doing and just stared in anticipation, one of my favorite moments from this first episode.

Rewinding a bit, I also loved the scenes showing that Rick's wife and children are very much alive, but in the hands of someone else close and dear to him. AMC did such an excellent job at creating the same human emotion and atmosphere that the graphic novels have always created, a feat that I'm sure was not easy I for one am just happy to see that AMC treated the franchise with care and really did it justice.

Of course we cannot forget the horse being ripped to shreds, inside the back of my mind all I could think is R.I.P Rhoads, a name I felt would be fitting for the horse considering its method of demise.

"The Walking Dead" was the perfect graphic novel series to translate into a television series in my opinion, with its large array of deep and memorable characters, and one of the best zombie related stories to come along in ages, I could not be happier with what it in either media form.

I cannot wait to experience the first season of "The Walking Dead" and have a feeling it's going to be a show that sticks around for a very long time to come.

My Top 3 Scenes
1. The tank scene
2. Morgan unable to kill wife scene
3. The horse torn to shreads

- Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

Paranormal Activity 2 (2010) Review by: Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

After experiencing what they think are a series of "break-ins", a family sets up security cameras around their home, only to realize that the events unfolding before them are more sinister than they seem in "Paranormal Activity 2".

The best way to describe "Paranormal Activity 2" would be the feeling one gets when forced to watch someone else's vacation videos or misc home videos, you do it to be polite but in all honestly you really just don't give a fuck and hope it ends as soon as possible. This is exactly the feeling that "Paranormal Activity 2" creates thanks to never ending pointless footage that does nothing for the build up or has anything to do with the movie itself.

In all reality this film could of and should of been 30 minutes long and been included as a bonus prequel for a special edition of the first films DVD, it really shows that this was made solely to try and shed light on why the haunting in the first film occurred, which they do in the very last fifteen to twenty minutes of "Paranormal Activity 2".

The movie itself is only about an hour and twenty four minutes long, with nothing even remotely interesting happening until the last thirty minutes or so of the flick. The agonizing build up makes it really hard to keep watching and even when things do start to happen there so vague and boring you honestly don't care.

All the clichés are here, misc untraceable bumps in the night, pots that fall for no reason, a child's toy that activates itself, the same old recycled bullshit we have seen in haunting movies time and time again. Before I forget just for good measure there is also use of an Ouija board in case you had not got your fill of clichés yet.

As much as I disliked the first film, it was better before seeing the prequel, the back story they try and tack onto the series is ridiculous and will leave a bad taste in the mouths of any sane viewers who make the mistake of wasting their time with "Paranormal Activity 2". The script is poorly written and filled with so many holes you will find yourself spending most of the time shaking your head in disbelief. One thing that really drove me nuts about this movie is the way they randomly and briefly stick key information in after twenty minute spans of scenes that have nothing to do with anything making it very hard to know when you need to be paying close attention and when it's safe to let your mind wonder in hopes when you re focus it's over.

There is so much time spent on nothingness', and then when something important arises they breeze by it like Speedy Gonzales on crystal meth. As much as I would love to go into great detail about all the loop holes created by this unneeded prequel, I will not for sake of spoilers, but I can tell you this whoever thought this film was a good idea should be taken out in the street and beaten with the very camera used to film it.

On a fun side note my favorite part of this entire film was seeing two Ramones and a Misfits poster, other than that it was the exact same movie, same youtube style hidden fishing line gags, the same boring uninspired piece of shit that everyone sat through last year.

I went into this one with an open mind, hoping for the sake of the time I was about to spend watching it that it would be better than the first film, but in the end I could not find one redeeming quality, fans of the first film don't waste your time the tacked on back story will only ruin the first film for you. On behalf of The Liberal Dead I give "Paranormal Activity 2" a 1 out of 10, and award for most unneeded prequel ever created. As much as I hated the first film I would watch it on repeat for days before I would ever sit through "Paranormal Activity 2" again.

1 out of 10



- Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

Session 9 (2001) Review by: Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

Danvers State Mental Hospital, closed down for 15 years, is about to receive five new visitors. Hazmat Elimination Co. seals a deal to remove dangerous asbestos from the hospital, which is soon to be renovated. The five-man crew dons protective gear and ventures into the eerily vast and vacant spaces and corridors of the hospital. The crew is drawn deeper into the mysteries that surround the asylum rampant patient abuse, medieval medical procedures, and rumors of demonic possession. The hospital holds many dark secrets but then, so do each of the men in Brad Anderson's "Session 9".

It's a very rare occurrence that a film authentically creeps me out, but thanks to the intense atmosphere created by "Session 9" it has landed itself on that short list. As someone who has spent a lot of time in abandoned prisons and hospitals, I can tell you when inside one; it is very hard not to let your imagination get the best of you at times.

The buildup in this film is a very slow burn, and they use this mechanic perfectly making sure you do not become bored with all the character development that you are overloaded with during the first half of the movie, while at the same time using it to create an ultra tense situation between all the parties involved. The in-depth background given on the relationships between each of the characters in "Session 9" is amazing and really keeps you engrossed in what is unfolding in front of you, this leads to there never being a dull moment in "Session 9".

Something that I really loved about this film was the use of skillful editing and sound to create a truly scary ambiance, a few of the sudden changes in audio were so clever and seamless that I even jumped a couple of times. The entire look and feel of "Session 9" produces such a beautifully dark and uneasy setting that you will not soon forget about Danvers State Mental Hospital.

The acting in "Session 9" is flawless; David Caruso (Phil), Stephen Gevedon (Mike), Josh Lucas (Hank), Peter Mullan (Gordon), and Brendan Sexton III (Jeff) all play their roles with precision. The interactions between each character is so lifelike and believable that you will find yourself forgetting it's only a well written script and not a retelling of a true occurrence.

Also I really enjoyed the use of light and darkness in "Session 9", the dim shadows created by the low light creeping through busted windows really added to that creepy feeling in the pit of your stomach that says "let's get out of here" whenever you are somewhere that you have a feeling you shouldn't be. One of my favorite scenes in this film from a visual standpoint involves Jeff and a very long hallway near the end of the movie, which is all I will say for spoilers sake, but take note when you see this scene how amazing the use of the darkness is and how genuinely scary the scenario really is.

If you are looking for a scary paranormal / psychological thriller style horror film I highly recommend you give "Session 9" a watch. I really enjoyed this movie and found myself on edge many times during it creating an experience I will not soon forget. On behalf of The Liberal Dead I give "Session 9" a 9 out of 10 and recommend not only you watch this one but own a copy for your collection.

9/10

- Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

The Widows Mansion (Short Story) by: Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

Halloween ah yes the one night of the year that the walls that keep the dead and the living from one and another fade away allowing smooth travel in-between this realm the and next. In today’s age many of the youth forget about the magical sometimes even dark side to what has become a night of carefree mischief and collection of sugar infused treats. I too use to share this naïve mind set until I encountered my first brush of something not of this psychical world we live within. My first taste of evil if you will the date was October 31st 1986 I was 16 years old and it would change my view on Halloween and life forever.

It was an extra cold fall morning my alarm woke me up with a blast of the all too familiar lyrics “From my laboratory in the castle east to the master bedroom where the vampires feast”. I opened my eyes in anticipation that song meant only one thing today was the day the one event of the year that I truly craved it was all hallows eve. I leaped from my bed quickly grabbing a plastic bag from my desk and my favorite ripped up Danzig t-shirt from the back of my chair. I disappeared into the bathroom for many hours my eyes fixed into the reflection of my human face in the mirror transforming layer by layer with the help of various shades of makeup and latex.

“Ah Tom savini would be proud” I thought to myself as I splashed on just a few more sprays of fake blood. Giving me that freshly murdered and drug through the woods look that I worked so hard to achieve this year.

Out the door I rushed just barely remembering to grab my backpack and the make shift yet ultra realistic looking fake machete I had made the night before. I ran so hard and fast that my legs burned and I wheezed with each breath until I saw my best friend and partner in crime leaning against a quickly approaching tree.

“Bout time shithead” he said flipping his half smoked cigarette to the curb. Before it even hit the ground he was reaching for a fresh one and his skull engraved Zippo.

“We’re burning daylight man we’ve got a lot of ground to travel before nightfall” he reminded me as he flipped his backpack over his shoulder.

Without missing a step we started down the street our feet in perfect sync with only one thing on our minds. Tonight was the night that we were going to spend the night inside the old widow’s mansion. It may sound cliché even silly but that’s only because you have never seen this house that remained the most infamous building in our small town for many decades.

Legend had it that the house was built for the widow as a token of the undying love of her soon to be husband. He came from a very rich family as blue blood as they come they were very much in love and their romance was talked about by all the towns people as something nothing less than enchanting. The entire town was over ran with excitement their wedding day came closer and closer it was sure to be the biggest event the townsfolk had ever witnessed. Then the news came everyone was shocked and heartbroken to find out that the young man had been in a terrible accident. The widow a much younger and beautiful lady back then had always dreamt of riding down the aisle on matching white horses but her lover was quit afraid of the creatures and had never rode one. As a surprise to his bride he had been receiving lessons masking them as out of town business calls. No one really knows what happened just that his horse was spooked and he was tossed from its back his head cracking against a sharp stone causing him to bleed to death before ever reaching any form of medical attention. When the bride was given this horrible news she changed both inside and outside. The town’s people stopped seeing the young woman her lawn grew higher and higher and for months and month’s rumors ran ramped throughout the small town. After no sign of the woman for what felt like an eternity a group of local kids finally took it upon themselves to enter the home. They slowly worked their way up the endless flights of stairs. Each level of the house a rancid smell gained more and more strength almost screaming turn back to the boys. Finally they all took the final step lining up side by side none said a word for a moment only gasped in horror before storming from the home screaming one boy throwing up in the lawn as soon as he cleared the mansions front door.

“What did they find?” “What is it they saw that was so terrible?”

Hanging from doorway of her upstairs bedroom swung the now decaying corpse of the young widow covered in various bugs that had began to eat away at her blue lifeless flesh.

Only one family lived in that home after the houses image was forever tainted by this terrible tragedy. They managed to stay there for 3 months before abandoning the home never even bothering to put it back on the market. Over the years many teenagers and other curious minds have entered the house staying for only short periods of them before running out with fear in their eyes. But not us not tonight we were going to spend the night and become legends.

The sun was just setting as we finally got the nerve to approach the door of the towering mansion. We had spent hours just standing in the jungle like yard surveying the outside of the home trying to get the courage to step foot inside this house of horrors.

“Screw it man, It’s do or die and we both know legends never die” my friend yelled trying to mimic the badass tone of Bruce Campbell one of our person heroes.

Without warning he grabbed his backpack and walked up to the door at full speed. I quickly followed behind stopping for a moment just in time to watch the front door swing open and my friend take the first step inside. I entered and stood to his side much like the boys from the story we grew up hearing year after year. Our eyes peered scanning every inch of the house that we could see. It looked like something you’d see in a drive in horror movie 50s furniture and décor covered in thick layers of dust and spider webs. Sticks and leaves covered the floor most likely blowing in over the years from the broken side window. The smell god I will never forget that smell I imagine it would be the odor left behind after years of use of an embalming room the scent of death.

Slowly we started up the stairs walking room to room on each floor. Nothing happening we both were starting to believe this was a story to be filed away along with the Easter bunny and Santa Claus. Bored and coming to the conclusion that this was going to be easier than we thought we decided to take a break before moving up the never ending staircase. We both flopped down on a dirty covered couch a cloud of dust filling the air as we laughed and coughed at the sheer cheesiness of the situation.

Then we heard the sound a low high pitch squeal accompanied by a soft scratching sound. We looked at each other for a moment before laughing.

“And then I saw the hook!” I said aloud mocking the sound.

My friend burst into laughter and at the same time we heard a loud boom echo throughout the house causing us both to jump at the same time. Our hearts raced to the point they felt like they were going to tear themselves out of our chests and flee the scene at their own will. We both lit up a cigarette without saying a word trying to calm ourselves before we let our imagination get out of hand. After all it was just a story nothing more than a ruse to scare children and add a little excitement to small town life. We spent much of the night in that room killing time knowing we’d have to reach the top before the sun comes out. A photo of the others standing outside from the top floor window was the final piece of proof required to make us the coolest kids this town has ever known.

Together we started up the stairs skipping the last two floors heading straight to the mission at hand. If we were ever going to escape our mundane life of lower class society and join the popular kids at the top of the food chain we were going to have to stare fear in the face. This is the moment in time that will be burnt into my eyes for the rest of my life in this plane. It haunts every second of my existence both when I sleep and when I’m awake.

My friend made it up first he made no sound said not one word. And I never heard him say anything after either as I walked up the final steps I saw him standing in the door way of the first room motionless. I reached for his shoulder to make sure he was alright and his body fell backwards like a statue. His skin pale white his face contorted into a horrible face mimicking a scream of pure terror. I raised my head once again and there I saw her covered in maggots and flies her eyes locked onto my own. She swung side to side her toe nails scrapping across the decaying wood floor she reached out towards me as I let out a scream that could be heard in the deepest darkest confines of space.

I woke up the next morning in a hospital bed I sat up letting out the last few notes of the scream that I had started the night before. My parents quickly rushed to my side putting their arms around me and telling me everything was ok. They demanded to know what happened in that house the night before. My only answer which remains the same even today when asked was “We found evil”.

My friend died that night of a severe heart attack it was found out later that the kids we entered the home to impress had also mounted a dummy swinging from a nose in the upstairs bedroom. But what I saw, no, what we saw was no dummy and I will never forget the look of anger in the old widow’s eyes at the thought of being mocked by the cold heartless living.


Happy Halloween From The Liberal Dead! May you're season be filled with endless screams.

Rammbock AKA Siege Of The Dead (2010) Review by: Shawn Savage

I know what you're saying. Another zombie movie? Saying that the market is over-saturated with zombie films right now would be an understatement. Thought I've personally had a life-long obsession with the sub-genre, today the world has gone zombie crazy. Unfortunately, most of these films barely meet even watchable standards. Most that are solid entries slip through the cracks, and never reach their audience. Half-assed cash-ins are what wind up getting most of the attention. Hell, even the godfather of the genre has a bad track record with his last couple of films. It seems that if you want to see a good zombie film, you have to go out of your way to do so. "Rammbock" is one of those films that you should see by any means necessary.

"Rammbock" is a German film that follows Michael as he travels to Berlin in order to give his ex-girlfriend, Gabbi, the keys to her apartment back. Once Michael arrives, there is a strange man wrestling with Gabbi's radiator heater. As the man becomes more and more aggressive, it soon becomes evident that something is off. Soon, a young man named Harper shows up, who was apparently on a job with the man whom we can now see is bound to the heater. A wave of infection has ravaged the population of what seems to be a country-wide radius, turning them into savage creatures with a ferocious appetite for human flesh.

If you're anything like me, you go into a zombie movie thinking you know the score. You've seen it all, and it's not possible for them to show you anything you haven't already seen. One of the beautiful things about "Rammbock", is that it isn't your standard zombie film. Not all of the same conventions and logic apply. Yes, you can still be infected by being bitten by one of the ghouls, but they've added another layer on top of that. While you're technically still infected if you swap bodily fluids with one of these bad boys, you're still a member of the living unless you let your emotions get out of control. Extreme feelings from either side of the emotional spectrum will expedite your new career as one of the walking dead, also incorporating ideas such as ingesting sedatives in order to keep your cool. Another unique thing about this film is the way in which you dispense of the walking corpses. Sure, a good blast to the head will still do the trick, but one character learns that the dead are affected by another unique way. The method discovered may not kill the zombies, but it hurts them bad enough to possibly clear a path.

Zombie films today are mostly spent following a scantily clad bombshell as she blasts her way through the undead with what seems to be an unlimited amount of ammo for some of the most powerful weapons on the planet. In "Rammbock" the survivors react the way you would assume they should, by running their asses off. This is hard to do from within a cramped apartment complex, so instead of assaulting the audience with 90 minutes of popcorn action that would make even Michael Bay blush, what we are treated to is a merciless game of cat and mouse. Each move the survivors make seems to push them back further and further, until finally it's fight or flight. The amazing set design, coupled with some spectacular cinematography and lighting lend to a creepy and unnerving experience. Just when you think you get a break from the assault, another wall caves and the survivors are back in peril.

There are a plethora of zombie films to choose from this year. Some are great, most are mediocre at best. If you're sick to death of the genre, and can only handle one more zombie film, I highly recommend that it be this one. The film clocks in at a single hour, so there's never time for it to let up. The pacing is impeccable, and allows for character development, even though it feels like you're under a constant barrage of bloodthirsty demons. If you're becoming increasingly annoyed with the lackluster options to choose from in this massively overused sub-genre, this may be the film that makes you remember why you fell in love with zombies to begin with. The quote on the cover says that Romero would be proud, and I agree with that statement. "Rammbock" is a must see for not only fans of zombies, but fans of creepy atmospheric horror as well. I'm not sure if this is the first attempt at a zombie film from Germany, but it certainly is an amazing one. I hope to see more films like this coming from the region. American filmmakers could learn a thing or two as well. If you're going to continue to beat that dead horse that is the zombie film, take not, because THIS is how you fucking do it.

9/10

Altitude (2010) Review by: Shawn Savage

"Altitude" follows a freshly licensed pilot as she flies her and her friends across the country for a concert. Some unexpected weather causes them to increase their altitude in order to fly above it. Once in a steady incline, the plane's mechanics malfunction, causing them to be unable to level out. As the plane rises higher and higher, strange things begin to happen, but are they actually happening, or are they becoming delirious from the lack of oxygen?

Though the trailer would lead you to believe that "Altitude" is little more than a low budget creature feature, it's actually much more. Instead of focusing on some poorly animated creature stalking and killing the characters, we follow them in a downward spiral to madness. The film plays with the viewers senses. I started feeling claustrophobic before the plane even left the strip. Halfway through the movie, not only was I uneasy due to the tight quarters, but completely disoriented.

The way in which the film is shot leaves the viewer completely disoriented. Shot almost entirely within a tiny airplane, it becomes hard to decipher whether the plane is still in a steep incline, or if a decline has begun. Instead of inventing some monster to try and invoke fear, "Altitude" does well to play on things that terrify you in real life. I squirmed my way throughout this entire film. Having not only a fear of enclosed spaces, but a deep fear of heights, I felt battered for the duration of the film. The best horror are those that effect you personally, and if you share these phobias, you're in for some terror.


Though the cast of characters are as cliched as can be, the casting was excellent. Everyone plays their part in near pitch perfect harmony. Playing off of one another, making it believable that they are actually a group of friends. Since Altitude is a character study, this works well for the film, as we follow the group on a decent into insanity. The concept of delirium induced by lack of oxygen lives or dies by the cast's performances. Had they just phoned it in, this movie would have failed completely. Thankfully, competence was shown, and this clever little story unfolds just as it should.


The setting is incredible. Though almost completely green screen, it's highly believable, and impressive. It takes talent to pile a group of actors into a tiny airplane on a sound stage, bump it up and down and have the end product turn out not only good, but intense and original. "Altitude" is not going to be for everyone. If you're going into the film expecting a creature feature b-movie, you're going to be disappointed. However, if you crave psychologically terrifying stories that plays out in a brutally claustrophobic setting, this may be a hidden Halloween treat for you.


"Altitude" is available today on both DVD and Blu-Ray. Though a DVD viewing will suffice, if you have the technology I highly recommend giving the Blu-Ray a whirl. With a crystal clear 1080p presentation, and Dolby TrueHD 5.1 channel audio, "Altitude" is sure to rock your home entertainment system.


7.5/10

13 Hours (2010) Review by: Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

Sarah Tyler (Isabella Calthorpe) returns to her troubled family home in the isolated countryside, for a much put-off visit. As a storm rages outside, Sarah, her family and friends shore up for the night, cut off from the outside world. But something comes out of the driving rain and darkness, something that holds a dark secret so devastating that, in one night, it could wipe out the entire family in "13 hours".

What a perfect movie for Halloween, this film was precisely what I needed to get me into the holiday spirit. Thanks to a mind blowing script and some truly breath taking practical special effects "13 Hours" is a must see, and for a lot of you I believe it will end up earning a spot on your DVD shelves.

A constant topic with Shawn and me has been the lack of really good werewolf films; this will actually be gone into with more dept in an upcoming article. With that said, yes this is a werewolf film, and not only is it a werewolf movie, but a really good one.

The script is just incredible; the story unfolds at a flawless pace and does a great job of keeping the viewers interest during its entire runtime. The writer and director did a remarkable job at creating a truly creepy atmosphere, with the use of a desolate location and the constant tension of the characters that have no clue what they're up against.

Watching the characters unravel as the pressure rises gives them a very real and human vibe, making it easier for you to develop an attachment to them forcing you to want things to pan out in their favor. As I have said in earlier reviews, this is something I think is very important especially in a age where a lot of sub characters end up just feeling like random slabs of meat, written in solely for the purpose of being killed. But when you make your audience feel for both the main and even the sub characters, you'll get a much stronger reaction when they die than simply shock and awe of the brutal nature of their demise. While the characters come off ultra whiney at times, it does ad to who they are and helps push along the way you are meant to view them as people. The character development I felt was very strong in this film and really added to this entire feel.

The special effects in "13 Hours" made me smile like the Mad Hatter, what an astounding display of practical effects, and once again proof that hands on buckets of blood and latex will remain superior to CGI as long as there are those who practice and continue to improve the craft. The werewolf's do not look like what you would typically expect, but once you get a good look you'll be pleased with the direction the film took. If you are a fan of monster movies, and find yourself craving a skillfully produced werewolf flick look no further than "13 Hours".

On behalf of The Liberal Dead I give "13 Hours" an 8 out of 10 and award for best werewolf movie I have watched in a very long time.

8/10

- Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

The Liberal Dead Interviews One of The Book of Zombie's Directors Scott Kragelund

I'm sure it is pretty easy to see that we here at The Liberal Dead, are in fact very large fans of the zombie sub-genre. When I first laid my eyes on "The Book of Zombie" and read the synopsis I was beyond intrigued and found myself thinking "How does one kill a Mormon zombie?" After finally seeing the film, I was totally blown away and the same night contacted the director and writer Scott Kragelund. Who was cool enough to agree to give us some of his time to answer some questions for you readers, without further delay I present to you Scott Kragelund, a name you better get used to seeing if "The Book of Zombie" is just the beginning of the genius hidden in this man's brain.


TLD: Welcome Scott, and thank you for taking the time to speak with us, to get things started how about a little about yourself? What is your background in horror? And what got you interested in the industry?

Scott: I direct TV news in the Seattle market, but I've always wanted to do something in the entertainment realm. So that's why we decided to do something fun. I have to be honest, the Horror genre was not my first love. I'm more of an Action/Comedy type of guy. So me and some co-workers were kicking around some ideas of what project we should do, and somehow we whittled it down to Mormon Zombies. It seemed like an attention grabber. Nobody thought I was serious until I wrote a 7 page short story and dropped it in their laps. I got their attention, and after several re-writes, I handed it off to Erik Van Sant who had some screen writing experience, and he turned it into a feature film.

TLD: "The Book of Zombie" is your first film correct? Do you plan on making your home in the horror genre? Or is it just a starting point of sorts for yourself?

Scott: TBOZ is our first project and it made me a bigger fan of Horror films. As long as I get to be creative, I don't really care what the next project is. TBOZ is definitely a starting point for me, I hope it leads to more projects.

TLD: I have to admit man, Mormon zombies has to be one of the most unique takes on the genre I have ever witnessed, and the fact you came up with a special method needed in order to kill them, instead of taking the easy way out and just using the same old zombie formula but having the film set in a Mormon community speaks volume about your creative side. How did this idea come to be? Have you had any fallout from the Mormon community?

Scott: The idea of Mormon Zombies was basically something that I thought would grab the Youtube generation's attention. In fact, when I wrote the short story, it was originally titled "MORMON ZOMBIES", because we wanted people to be intrigued just from the title. Some of the ideas were based on one of my trips to Southern Utah where I got to witness some interesting stuff, but we haven't had any bad fallout from the Mormon community. We've actually had nothing but positive feedback from Mormons. Erik Van Sant (writer/co-director) and I, actually did an interview for a Mormon reporter and we had a blast answering his questions, and I think the reporter liked us even more after the interview.

TLD: The gore in "The Book of Zombie" was nothing shy of gorgeous, and from what I saw all practical latex and buckets of blood, do you prefer this method over CG? And while we are on the subject what is your take on many studios now going that route even for things that can easily be done practically?

Scott: The gore in TBOZ was all thanks to Marcel Banks. At the time of shooting, he was a 20 year old Tacoma guy who we recruited off of Craigslist. We struck gold with him. I would always choose practical effects over CGI, not just because they are cheaper, but because people can root out marginal CGI in a second. Even with mediocre buckets of blood, you can make the audience cringe.

TLD: So Scott, do you have any future projects you're able to talk about? Anything coming up for those craving to see what your capable of after such a flawless debut?

Scott: I have a couple projects on the horizon but we are still putting a huge amount of time into TBOZ. We are working the festival circuit trying to drum up a possible distribution deal. If nothing hits soon, then we'll just sell our DVD off the website. But we're in no hurry right now, we want TBOZ to get to as many people through festivals as possible. TBOZ was just in Scotland at the DEAD BY DAWN festival and we got a great reaction over there as well. It's been great to see all the positive comments we've received.

TLD: If you could remake any IP with no restriction to budget, what would you choose and who would you like to be involved with the project as far as casts go?

Scott: If I could redo one thing about this film, it would be to take our time. We were under a strict deadline by the City of Auburn to shoot our movie in 4 months and then they were going to knock the buildings down for re-development. So we definitely made some rookie mistakes in the shooting that I think we could have avoided if we weren't under such a crazy deadline. But all in all, I'm very proud of the final product.

TLD: While on the subject of budgets, what did you spend on "The Book of Zombie" if you don't mind talking about it? Did you pick up any tricks of the trade working on a indie budget that you would like to share with some future film makers out there working on a shoe string budget?

Scott: We only spent around 15 thousand dollars for this film. And it was mostly out of our own pockets with a few donations. We were extremely lucky with TBOZ, we were able to get everyone to donate their time to this project. Actors, Crew, equipment, we just kept on calling in favors and everyone did it for free, it was great to see that kind of response.

TLD: Quick Save one, Kill one, Eat one! Betty White, Vanilla Ice, and The cast of "Little House on The Prairie" Go!

Scott: Save Betty White, Kill Vanilla Ice, and eat one of the Little Prairie kids.

TLD: Which statement do you most agree with? Real zombies are reanimated corpses that were once deceased and have a slow pace of movement or zombies can be created by various means and run like cheetahs?

Scott: I know its controversial to say fast zombies, but I'll be honest, slow moving zombies just aren't that scary to me. When I first saw 28 days later, it scared the crap out of me. I know some other films have tried to do the fast zombie thing (with less success) but damn , fast zombies are just more creepy. (Zach Snyder's Dawn of the Dead remake is one of my favorite zombie films, and he was able to successfully blend slow and fast zombies)

TLD: Who do you consider to be the king of zombies? Romero? Fulci? someone else?

Scott: The King of Zombies will always be Romero. I know he hasn't hit on all cylinders lately, but he's the man. Fulci did some great things and some of them even better than Romero, but Romero is King.

TLD: If you had to choose one film from 2010 so far that just rocked your socks horror wise, what would it be?

Scott: I can't speak for any Horror films in 2010 just yet, but let me just say that THE GRUDGE messed me up. And I'm talking the American version. I didn't know that Ju-On (the Korean version) was first, so I saw the American version without any expectations, and it blew me away. I was looking at shadows differently for a week.

TLD: Alright Scott your trapped inside a two story barn with only the following items, a container of gasoline, A Pistol with 3 bullets, A pitchfork, A rope, and the keys to a truck that is exactly 30 yards from the entrance. The Barn has become totally surrounded by the undead and your time is running out, what do you do?

Scott: From the second floor, I throw the container of gas at the closest zombies, shoot one round at the container and blow it up to clear a path. Tie the rope to the pitchfork, bury the pitchfork in the rafter, swing myself down to the ground and run like hell for the truck. If things go bad, I still have one bullet for another zombie and one for myself.

TLD: Before we take off, is there anything else you'd like to say to our readers Scott? Anything you want to pimp or plug to all the sick fucks out there that call The Liberal Dead home? Words of wisdom? Warning of the end is near?

Scott: Last note, I just want to say that TBOZ was done by a bunch of dudes who just wanted to be creative. This movie was a real team effort. There are too many names to list here that I want to thank, but we would have never finished this film if we had lost anyone that is on our crew list.

When we finally do print the DVD, it will have a one hour behind the scenes section that details how a bunch of regulars like ourselves pulled this movie off. So stay tuned.

(note: Scott is one of the 3 writers/directors on this project along side Paul Cranefield and Erik Van Sant)

TLD: There you have it everyone the writer and director of the sure to be cult classic "The Book of Zombie", Scott Kragelund. Be sure to check out "The Book of Zombie" and be prepared to fall in love with the genre all over again.

- Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

Luster (2010) Review by: Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

Thomas Luster (Andrew Howard) is a troubled businessman who tries to make sense of a life being driven out-of-control by a force closer to home than he first realizes. After battling an never ending case of Insomnia he turns to medication to induce sleep, when he starts to notice things are spiraling out of control as mysterious letters start to appear Thomas will find himself in a twisted tale of murder, madness and mayhem in the bizarre and terrifying "Luster".

When you hear the name Adam Mason followed by Andrew Howard, you instantly are filled with this sudden realization that you are in for a treat, it is almost the same feeling you get Christmas morning as a child, when you look over at your clock and take in what day it is, at least that is how I feel every time I find out they are working together on another project and it was no different when I heard the news that "Luster" was in the works.

I have watched this film now a total of four times, and each and every time I view it, I find more and more to like about it. Once again Adam Mason has a winner on his hands with "Luster" and proves that he is not a name to be forgotten. After a string of classics such as "The Devils Chair", "Blood River" and "Pig" and now "Luster" he has gone way beyond the needed criteria to land a spot on my list of top horror directors.

"Luster" has it all, a solid and entertaining story that is both original and ultra thought provoking, stunning practical special effects that shame most big budget Hollywood releases by sticking to the gritty and raw feeling that Mason has mastered over the years, and to finish the total package an excellent all around cast and convincing top notch acting by all who were involved.

Once again Andrew Howard does an incredible job, this time portraying Thomas Luster, who has found himself on a downward spiral in every sense of the word. Andrew delivers such a realistic and moving performance, you really build up an attachment and sense of honestly feeling bad for his character and what he is going through something that is rarely achieved in the horror genre these days where most characters are nothing more than slabs of meat included for the sake of being dismantled in gruesome ways.

The entire cast of "Luster" did astonishing jobs with their characters, Tess Panzer, who plays Thomas's wife Jennifer Luster was on top of her game, and my personal favorite character Les played by Tommy Flanagan, who you may recognized from his role on the hit FX series "Son's of Anarchy" really stole the show for me, you would honestly believe that he was a homeless vet he plays the role so authentically.

The writing ability of Adam Mason and Simon Boyes, time after time produce truly creepy and most of the times very feasible scenario's in their viewers minds that leave them haunted forever by what they just witnessed. "Luster" is no different in this department, once it all becomes unraveled and you grasp what has been going on you will find yourself desperately craving to find another soul who has seen the film so you can gab about it like a tween girl who just finished the latest issue of "Tiger Beat".

While "Luster" is not your typical Adam Mason style horror film, as it has more thriller, psychological, who did it undertones than his previous films, any fans of his earlier work will not be let down this time around. While there is not as much gore in "Luster" as his previous films either, when it does occur it's done in the familiar gritty fashion that Adam has always delivered in his films.

I guarantee after you watch "Luster" you'll think twice about taking that little chalk flavored capsule in order to get to sleep when a bout of insomnia strikes you again, you'll start to second guess yourself every time you "Misplace" an object in your home and you will forever feel the effects left behind by "Luster", ensuring that there's always a part of you that asks what if?

Thanks to an insanely strong script, and characters that are both believable and memorable both main and supporting wise, "Luster" is sure to win crowd after crowd whenever it is released. I highly recommend any fan of the horror genre go out of their way to see this movie upon release and if you are not familiar with Adam Mason's earlier work, I insist that you IMDB his name and go down the list, I would start with "The Devils Chair" and work my way through his impressive library of true horror films.

On Behalf of The Liberal Dead I give "Luster" a very solid and deserving 9 out of 10, and award for best psychological twist in a horror film in a very long time.

9/10



- Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

Horror Happy Hour: Aaah! Zombies Video Review by Dave and Krys Caroleo

 

Horror Happy Hour: Long Pigs Video Review by Dave and Krys Caroleo

 

Let Me In (2010) Review by: Shawn Savage

"Let Me In" is the American remake to the Swedish phenomenon "Let The Right One In". I'll be the first to admit that I've had it up to my asshole with this remake bullshit. At this point it seems like 3 out of every 5 new trailers that premieres is for another goddamn remake. It's getting old, and very rarely are the end products even worth mentioning. "Let Me In" is one of those rare occasions where not only is it worth mentioning, It's worth recommending. Despite a few moments of pure Americanization, the film basically unfolds in the same manner.

The story follows Owen, a lonely kid, going through the nasty divorce of his parents at home, and constant bullying at school. While spying on his neighbors one day, he notices Abby, played by the amazing Chloe Moretz(Kick-Ass). Abby is a strange girl, walking barefoot through the snow with what Owen can only assume is her dad. After a few awkward encounters, the two become infatuated with one another, and from here, the story really sinks it's teeth in you.

While "Let Me In" is most certainly a horror film, much like the original, the real focus of the story is the relationship between these two  young lovers. There is some real on-screen chemistry between Owen and Abby, so much so that it's almost impossible to be disgusted, even at their lowest point. Both young actors do a fantastic job at portraying their roles. Your film is only as strong as your actors, and it's usually a hard sale when it comes to child actors. Chloe impressed the hell out of me in hit girl, and has done so once again with her performance in "Let Me In". It's hard to ignore her enthralling on-screen presence. She has the potential to be one of the greats.

It's hard for me to explain, but films used to have a certain feel to them. With the invention of HD cams, it's become less demanding to make a film. While this is mostly good news, the downside is, you have to weed through much more crap than you used to. When "Let Me In" started, the music, combined with the spectacular aerial photography filled me with a certain feeling that I don't often get when I go to the cinema. I exhaled deeply, and said to myself, "This is a fuckin' movie". There is no gimmick, no first person handicam found footage. Just impeccable filmmaking.

The mood created by "Let Me In" is dark, dreary, and beautiful. Set in a snowy winter, the backdrop of a frigid winter adds a creepy factor to an already creepy story. The film is also littered with 80s pop culture references, including an awesome 80s pop soundtrack, Mrs. Pacman, and the terrible tasting(in my opinion) candies, "Now and Laters". Thankfully it only adds to the overall package. A lot of the time when directors aim to set their film in that period, it feels tacked on, and more like a gimmick. The end result that we are given by director Matt Reeves(Cloverfield) is up there with Ti West's "The House Of The Devil" as far as feeling genuine goes.

Those of you that like a little dose of crimson juice in your films should not fret, there is enough bloody violence in "Let Me In" to wet your whistles as well. The effects were handled extremely well, and the fact that everything around our characters is covered in glistening white snow adds to the payoff when it's time to get a little wet.

The sound design was particularly impressive. Several scenes actually made ME jump, simply because the sound crafted to do so. Scenes are set up so that it's quiet enough to give you a sense of security, until a blood curdling scream sends chills down your spine, and possibly urine into your underoos. The score is also very beautiful, and fits the tone of the film perfectly.

"Let Me In" is one of those rare films that will appeal to both die-hard fans of the genre, and those that just really enjoy a good story. The horror elements are prevalent enough to maintain it's genre status, even among purists, while the dramatic way in which the story unfolds will be sure to please even those that are looking for a touching love story.

Yes, "Let Me In" is a remake, and most of the time, that's reason enough to skip it. I implore you though, don't be stubborn and miss out on this experience just because you're trying to send a message to Hollywood. I'm as sick of the remake silliness as much as the next guy, but I'm glad I squashed all of that and went to see this film anyway. If anything, you should flock to the theater in droves. If you want to send a message, send the message that if you're going to make a remake, THIS is how it's done. Hollywood, while we would so very much rather you would give us some original horror films, if you're going to continue the remake parade, take note, as this is one of the most competent remakes ever unleashed.

8.5/10

Nightmare Aka Atmosfear (Video Board Game) (1991) review by: Adam "Mudman" Bezecny

One of the dictionary definitions of the word “movie”—blatantly the most valuable word of all in film criticism, for it is via this definition that we as critics do our work—is, “A sequence of photographs projected onto a screen with sufficient rapidity as to create the illusion of motion and continuity.” Therefore, theoretically, anything that you watch on a TV or screen, whether it’s part of a show, or something that you watch on tape or DVD or Blu-Ray, is, at least in part, a movie.

Right?

I’m seeking justification because this review makes me feel like I’m cheating.
Is Nightmare a movie? Well, it’s on a screen. It moves, with certain (albeit questionable) movement and continuity. I say questionable simply through the merit of its lack of a true plot. Maybe that’s what makes it a gem. And maybe its status as a gem makes me insane. And my status as a madman makes you all equally insane. There’s a cliff in the future for all of us.

Nightmare was actually a board game that was made in a particular style—mainly one that is entirely reliant or at least largely reliant on a VHS tape that was included with the game. Nightmare, or Atmosfear, as it sometimes called, is of course the movie on that VHS tape. I’ve had the severe displeasure of watching some other board game movies, like Clue and a couple of others; those are more plot-driven, but they really suffer for it. Is Nightmare more comforting? I really don’t know, nor do I care.

We meet a guy in a black robe called the Gatekeeper, or, as his ridiculous accent states, “the Gatekeepair”. His hobbies include standing around, staring, yelling, and banishing players of his game to the black hole, a space on the board that prevents you from playing—he enjoys calling it “the blaghoel”. And he’ll say it a lot, too, just to get his point across.

So, since there really isn’t a linear storyline, this may be my most challenging review yet. But, there is a linear sequence of events, each more hilarious then the last, so this may be my best review ever. Essentially, the Gatekeeper introduces himself and tells the players he will appear onscreen from time to time to give out rewards and punishments. And he does this for a while. Fortunately, something changes. He eventually denotes someone as the “Chosen One”, and tells them he will summon them when the time is right. Minutes later, he summons them and tells them to leave their seat and get close to the screen—the camera keeps zooming in on him as he whispers for them to get closer and closer. But finally, he shouts loudly and says, “Do not ever get that close to me again, little maggot!” It’s quite hilarious, but there’s more before the night is out.

He also looks for the oldest and youngest players. When he finds the oldest, he refers to them as “the old one”, and says things to your imaginary answers to his questions, which plays out as follows: “How old are you? … That old? … The others must pity you! Ha, ha, ha!” Then, he threatens to kill the old one in real life. He also yells at the youngest a lot. Both are ridiculously disturbing, complete with lines like, “Wait! I want to play with the young one again!”

Halfway through, his voice starts to have a second dubbed layer to it which shifts in pitch, which I guess is supposed to make him more spooky. He also gets wrinkly and his eyes turn yellow, which is actually not that bad looking. Still, he never really gets…scary. He just gets abusive. Did I mention this is the only full-motion video (FMV) board game to get a PG rating? It was for player abuse. He also snorts a lot, exactly like a pig.
Ultimately, though, if the video ends, so does the game and all the players lose. Pretty much, in-game, you have to get a certain number of keys to draw a Fear Card, and if you draw the card that you wrote your worst nightmare on, you have conquered your nightmare and win. But again, if the tape runs out, the Gatekeeper wins and it’s game over. Still, though, near the end, as the formerly-low ambience in the background grows louder, and the moon in the corner grows more full, we do get an awesome line: “The ghost train is coming—listen to its scream”. Neat.

I watched this without the game board, and most of the video is just the timer ticking upwards to the hour mark. There is some music, and like I said, the moon grows more and more full. So, it’s not so much of a movie as it is just an hourglass—but remember this: hourglasses don’t have hilariously bad actors in black robes to make pig noises at you and scream “little maggot” every five seconds.

Who needs plot? It moves, doesn’t it? Ain’t that enough? You can watch the whole thing in about twenty minutes if you skip the timer—and trust me, I don’t need to tell you that you don’t want to stare at a clock for forty minutes. The Gatekeeper will become like an old friend. Take some time out of your schedule and trip out.

- Adam "Mudman" Bezecny