Ten Horror Comedies That Every Fan Should See by: Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

My two favorite movie genres are Horror and Comedy, so whenever the two get blended into a nice little package of laughs and screams it makes me smile. First off I want to make clear that these are not what I consider to be the best of the best and need to mention they are in no certain order either. There are tons of classics that are not on this short list and mainly because I felt they were known by basically everyone who hasn't been living under a rock and ten is a very small number but I have not forgot about awesome films such as "Shaun of The Dead", "Scary Movie 1 & 2", and the holy grail of horror comedy films the "Evil Dead" trilogy.

01. An overstressed suburbanite and his neighbors struggle to prove their paranoid theory that the new family in town is a front for a cannibalistic cult in the 1989 classic "The Burbs" starring such big names as Tom Hanks, Carrie Fisher, and Corey Feldman. This is flick has always fallen securely into my comfort zone, and whenever I need a pick me up there's a good chance I will toss on "The Burbs" for some laughs. This by far my favorite Tom Hanks film, and believe "The Burbs" to be a perfect example of how to blend horror and comedy seamlessly.

02. Seventeen year old stoner Anton Tobias (Devon Sawa) wakes up one Halloween morning to discover that both of his parents have been murdered. Turning to his best buds Mick (Seth Green) and Pnub (Elden Henson) for help he soon discovers that years of being lazy and slacking has caused one of his hands to become possessed by the devil murdering anyone who stands in its way in 1999's "Idle Hands". This is one of my all time personal favorite horror comedies that have ever been created. As a big fan of basically everyone involved it was a no brainer when it came to adding it to the list. And who can forget the debut of Jessica Alba as the punk rock girl next door.

03. Alien brain parasites that enter through a mouth start turning their hosts into a killer zombies in the Fred Dekker's 1986 masterpiece "Night of the Creeps". If you have by some chance never seen this flick, do yourself a favor and make it happen and in the very near future, a true classic in the realm of horror comedies. "Night of the Creeps" perfectly blends so many sub-genres into one film its mind blowing, a nice blend of 50's drive in horror, zombies movies, creature features, cheesy cop flicks all rolled up into a package of blood soaked gore and stomach hurting laughs.

04. When two employees at a medical supply warehouse accidentally release a deadly gas into the air, the vapors cause the dead to re-animate in Louisville, Kentucky. Craving one thing and one thing only more braaaiiins in 1985's "The Return of the Living Dead". As you can tell by an earlier article entitled "F*CK! I love Return of the Living Dead", I love this flick. It's not only one of my favorite zombie films but also horror comedies, and is a sure win if you are looking for something retro and fun to watch with some friends.

05. A small, sleepy Utah town gets an undead wake-up call when all of the townspeople of Mormon faith suddenly transform into flesh-eating ghouls! Now, a group of 'non-believers' unaffected by the mysterious epidemic must band together to survive the night and answer the burning question: How do you kill a Mormon zombie? In the 2010's "Book of Zombie". This movie came out of left field for me, but has earned its self a spot on this list. A truly unique take on the zombie sub genre that will leave you laughing your ass off. If you loved 80s gore infused horror comedy then you will have a blast with "Book of Zombie"

06. Roger Cobb (William Katt) is a author who has just separated from his wife, who has just moved into a new house in hopes of working on a novel based on his experiences in the Vietnam War. When strange things start occurring in the house it's not long until it becomes a battle for his very own sanity in 1986's "House". This movie is right up there for me with "Evil Dead", it may be the talking stuffed animal heads but they both had the same feel to me and I love them both. I use to watch this flick every time I got a chance growing up, it use to come on USA's "Up All Night" now and then and would cause me to miss school the next day every time. Pop some popcorn, grab some buds, and sit back and enjoy a true classic.

07. A young man's mother is bitten by a Sumatran rat-monkey. She gets sick and dies, at which time she comes back to life as a flesh craving zombie in the 1992 epic gore magnum opus "Dead Alive". This movie was infamous when I was a kid for making many non horror and even a few horror fans truly sick to their stomachs. It had buckets of some of the sickest gore of the era and enough laughs to keep you confused on if you should vomit or snort and giggle yourself into a frenzy. All I'm going to say is zombie on zombie sex one being a GILF go watch it, experience it, become a better person for it.

08. A barrel of radioactive waste is lost out in the woods of a rural community. Some local rednecks find it and use it as part of their still, soon enough everyone who has consumed the liquor starts turning into flesh hungry zombies in the Tromaville classic "Redneck Zombies". Tromaville are the kings of horror comedies and this happens to be one of my personal favorites from them. There are so many memorable moments in this flick you'll be having flashbacks for decades to come. If you loved the Toxic Avenger flicks but are not familiar with Troma beyond that, this would be a great flick to get you hooked on the sick and twisted world of Tromaville.

09. A group of men head to a remote village to help one of their friends get over his divorce; when they get there, though, they discover that all the women have been infected with a virus that makes them man-hating cannibals in 2009s "Doghouse". If you loved "Shaun of the Dead" chances are you will have a good time with "Doghouse", it's one of the better new horror comedies to come along in some time and is highly recommended by myself. While it is a bit of a "dude" movie geared mostly towards the male demographic, I'm sure both sexes can walk away from this one with some good laughs and memories.

10. A young man comes to spend the summer at the remote desert ranch of his father in hopes of repairing their estranged relationship only to find that his father has found himself a young sex bomb who is now living with him. Soon bodies start to pile up and the young man suspects his father has lost his mind and started butchering young ladies, but soon enough he will find out that the killer beyond all the mayhem is closer than he could ever imagine in the 2005 sleaze horror comedy "Pervert!". You know I'm going to keep this one simple here it goes lots of T&A, gore, and a killer penis if you haven't decided to watch it by now there is something wrong with you.





- Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

F*CK! I Love Return of The Living Dead by: Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

Growing up in nowhere Kentucky much of my time was spent renting random horror films from various mom and pop video stores with my friend Brian. I was never really into sports or the other various social outlets you have pushed down your throat as a child, scouts, etc, so much of my childhood was spent in front of a Television screen and nine out of ten times there would be some sort of horror film being viewed.

Cover art was a huge deciding factor back when I was a kid when it came time to choose horror flicks to watch, without such things as the internet it made keeping up with the best of the best a lot more difficult. The only form of information we had was what we got from various monsters magazines like Fangoria, and the trailers that would be included with each VHS.

I remember the first time I walked past the VHS box for "Return of The Living Dead", by this time in my life I was already really into the punk rock scene, so once my eyes locked onto a group of what appeared to be punk rock zombies I was sold. An already big fan of George Romero and the original dead trilogy, zombies had become a big part of my viewing schedule. Long before it was the in sub-genre I found myself obsessed with zombie culture and would rent every sub-genre film I could get my hands on regardless of where it was from or who made it. When I thank back to those days "Return of the Living Dead" always comes out on top as one of the most important not only zombie films of my horror journey but one of the most important horror films in general.

I love everything about "Return of The Living Dead", from its flawless soundtrack that even to this day I still consider to be the best movie soundtrack ever created, to its beautiful display of good old fashion practical effect driven gore, and who can forget the endless stream of quotable lines from a cast of unforgettable characters.

While other kids knew that Bo knew best, I wanted to be just like Suicide (R.I.P. Mark Venturini 1961–1996) and honestly a lot of my style today can be traced back to the character with just a dash of The Breakfast Club's John Bender (Judd Nelson) for good measure. As a kid who looked up to many of the punk rock greats Suicide had it all, he had a badass rundown ride, wild friends, and who can forget the jaw dropping sexy Trash (Linnea Quigley) by his side. Oh how I use to spend endless hours day dreaming about Linnea Quigley as a young boy, perhaps this is even the reason why I have spent much of my later years chasing after tattooed girls dressed head to toe in black and leather.

"Return of The Living Dead" also had some of the best special effects from the era, I remember just sitting speechless during the first viewing being totally blown away by how awesome the gore and zombies were. The scene with the medical dog cadavers that were split in half started barking is forever burnt into my brain, along with the zombie being tied down on the table and interrogated. This film has so many quotable moments it's ridiculous.

"You think this is a fuckin' costume? This is a way of life." - Suicide

"Send... more... paramedics." - Zombie

"More BRAINS!" - Zombie

"If you love me you'll let me eat your brains" - Freddy

Just to name a few, not to mention the entire conversation I mentioned above with the half zombie female, who informs them that she needs to eat brains to kill the pain of being dead. The conversation between the paramedics and Freddy about their symptoms being those of death also really sticks out in my head as a very memorable and just all around magnificent scene.

All I know is I absolutely love this film, and if by some chance you have never seen it do yourself a favor and go watch it as soon as humanly possible. For me personally this is most defiantly one of my all time favorite horror films and will always find itself on my top ten list safe from ever being bumped off. There are few movies I have watched since "Return of The Living Dead" that have left such a strong impact on me in all the ways it managed to do as a film. Audibly, visually, and mentally it's a total package flick filled with laughs, gore, sexiness, and enough zombie mayhem to satisfy even the most fanatical fan of the reanimated corpses of the dead.

- Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

Dr. Dale's Zombie Dictionary The A-Z Guide To Staying Alive (2010) Book Review by: Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

Do you often find yourself worried about how you would handle yourself during an zombie apocalypse? Are you afraid one day the dead shall reanimate and start eating loved ones like human finger sandwiches? Well then I have just the product for you! Dr Dale's "Zombie Dictionary The A-Z Guide To Staying Alive" will assure the safety of yourself and those who you hold close. Dr Dale will give you a crash course in zombie 101 that you will not soon forget, be prepared and not a victim when the dead come knocking on your door!

With a lot of zombie media flooding the market these days it can be easy to overlook some really cool zombie related material such as, Dr Dale's "Zombie Dictionary The A-Z Guide To Staying Alive" which is must have for any collector of zombie swag, it is filled with tons of information on the flesh eating horde we have all grown to love and also many survival techniques and tips for living as long as possible once the dead rise and start eating the living.

I personally had a blast reading this book and while it is for the sake of humor and there is a lot of humor used within its pages, it also has some really good tips for surviving the zombie onslaught, one of my favorite being the description of a mine that is located in Pennsylvania that would be one of the best places to house a commune of human survivals for an extended period of time. I also absolutely loved the section on your run of the meal human stupidity, warning of such things as not screaming "Hello" randomly after hearing a noise then proceed to walk towards its location screaming "Hello" as to say here I am Mr. Zombie, come feed on my brains it's ok I don't mind.

The art work that is scattered throughout the book, is also really well done and amusing, there were many illustrations that put a smile on my face for a very long time, my personal favorite involving a Kangaroo. A lot of the pictures are so cleaver they would be tattoo worthy, for any of you walking dead fanatics looking for some ideas.

Everything from aardvarks to zoos are covered in this well written and informative book, after you finish Dr. Dale's "Zombie Dictionary the A-Z Guide to Staying Alive" you will be on your way to a PHD in zombie relations and survival studies.

Overall I really enjoyed this book and it truly is the A-Z of everything zombie, this would make a great gift both for the zombie expert in your life or for the aspiring zombie newbie to read for knowledge of the walking dead.

On behalf of The Liberal Dead I give Dr. Dale's "Zombie Dictionary The A-Z Guide To Staying Alive" a well deserved 8 out of 10 and recommend it to any zombie fan as a must read.

8/10



- Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

Cropsey (2009) review by: Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

Staten Island natives, Joshua Zeman and Barbara Brancaccio had often heard the urban legend of "Cropsey." It was a cautionary tale invented to keep them out of the abandoned buildings that remained of the Willowbrook Mental Institution. Cropsey was supposedly an escaped patient who would come out late at night and snatch children off the streets sometimes with a hook for a hand, other times with a bloody ax. But in 1987, Jennifer Schweiger, a 13-year-old with Down syndrome, disappeared from their community. For Zeman, Brancaccio, and the other kids of Staten Island, their urban legend became real and the reality they would uncover in "Cropsey" a truly uniquely hair-raising documentary that proves fact is more terrifying than any urban legend.

I watch a lot of true crime documentaries and also read a lot of books on the subject; I have always found myself fascinated with not only horror films but also the source material many of their writers gain their ideas from. Real life fears and tension are always more terrifying to a viewer than anything made up and too over the top to be real.

"Cropsey" will leave you with an inner chill for hours after its runtime is completed, the thought that someone would be so cold and heartless as to murder several children with mental disabilities is one that makes it hard to sleep at night knowing that such evil exists, not only on our television screens but also in our own backyards.

This documentary will force you to think and to form your own opinion on Andre Rand, is he a sick and depraved child murderer? Or was he simply a misunderstood soul whose only crime was looking scary and being the victim of his very own mental disorder? In a day and age when such horrible crimes occur and the pressure on police to find out who is responsible mounts, it is not uncommon for an innocent soul to find themselves in a prison cell based on looks and how easy it will be to push a negative image of the person into the minds of the general public. This may very well be the case with one Andre Rand, but at the same time he makes it hard on himself to believe he is innocent with his cryptic behavior and unwillingness to be helpful in anyway, this creates a truly thought inducing documentary that will leave you going over the evidence provided for months to come trying to solve the mystery of "Cropsey."

One of the things that most impressed me about this documentary was the success of the film makers when it came to showing both sides of the fence using interviews of those close to the children and also friends of Andre Rand. This is not a one sided story by any means when it comes to the evidence that is given to you as the viewer to process. I believe that this is the films greatest achievement, it never feels like an attack against Andre Rand, but instead just the facts given honestly and from many different sources who are on both sides of the fence, when it comes to his guilt or innocence.

The most haunting segments for me personally has to be the footage of the hospital back when it was still active and how horribly its patients were treated, it honestly reminded me of a giant internal mass grave where you were only there to wait until you took your final pain filled breath.

If you enjoy true crime and are in the mood for a very in-depth and riveting look into one of the most infamous crimes in New York's history then I highly recommend you view "Cropsey" as soon as possible. Available both on DVD and also currently on Netflix instaview this is a must see documentary.

On behalf of The Liberal Dead I give "Cropsey" a 10 out of 10 and award for honestly and accurately telling both sides of a very tragic and hard to believe story, film-making at its finest.

10/10

- Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

The Loved Ones (2010) Review by: Shawn Savage

I love going into films completely oblivious. Granted, a lot of the times the results aren't pretty, but if you're going in with no knowledge, and no expectations, it's hard to be that disappointed. Sometimes though you discover a real hidden gem. That is the case with "The Loved Ones". This is the type of film that one could only hope would get a theatrical release. Sadly, it's gone mostly ignored, and will be dumped straight to disc in most territories, while empty headed crap like "Paranormal Activity" rocks the box office.

"The Loved Ones" opens with our main character, Brent, played by Xavier Samuel, as he's driving around with his father. Soon, what appears to be a bloodied, half naked teenage boy runs out in the middle of the road, causing Brent to veer off the road, resulting in an accident that takes the life of his father, and leaves him an emotional mess. Brent feels responsible for the death of his father, and his fruitcake of a mother doesn't make matters any better. Brent appears to be coming to grips with his life in a teen angst sort of way, with a super hot, sex-crazed girlfriend to help him through the dark times. Tonight is the night of a big dance at school, and Brent is soon approached by "the weird girl" in school to ask him to escort her to the event. Having a girlfriend, Brent turns her down. This turns out to be the worst mistake of his life.

One complaint that seems to be most prevalent in regards to this film, is that there is a subplot involving Brent's friend taking a disturbed "goth" chick to the prom. People seem to think it's unnecessary to the plot. The reality is, this aspect of the film works well on different levels. On one hand, it serves as a device to drop the audiences guard, grounding them in reality so that when the insanity begins, it's that much more effective. On the other hand, it serves well to tie the entire film together. It is very much necessary, and has a very important role to the overall plot of the movie. It also happens to be very well executed, and a blast to watch.

The acting in "The Loved Ones" is outstanding. Robin McLeavy, in particular puts in a career making performance. The performance of the actor that would play Lola would make or break this film. McLeavy is so convincing as a psychopath that she actually gives this film a lot more credibility than it would have had otherwise. Don't get me wrong, it's a remarkable film in it's own right. There are some superb production values, solid performances across the board, and an awesome soundtrack. I just feel the main thing that needs to be noted here is Robin McLeavy's performance. This may sound a tad hyperbolic, but I really don't feel there's been such an engaging performance as a psychopath since Anthony Hopkins in "The Silence Of The Lambs".

To say the very least, "The Loved Ones" is brutal as hell. The special effects are spectacular. Several moments in the film made a seasoned gorehound like myself cringe. Trying to teeter the line here, so as not to spoil anything, but an idea straight from the disturbed mind of Jefferey Dahmer was implemented here just to show an extra level of insanity, and it really added not only to the gore factor of the flick, but the overall creep factor as well. The effects, from what I could tell were all handled practically, and as mentioned above, some of them are absolutely cringe-worthy.

It's a crying shame that this flick will go mostly unnoticed. Film making like this is a rarity in today's market, which is mostly over-saturated with quick cash-ins and half-assed attempts at monetizing big name films from the past, and gobbling up the next popular foreign film for Americanization. "The Loved Ones" is gruesome, sexy, highly polished, and twisted as hell.

9/10

My thoughts on "The Walking Dead" premiere on AMC by: Ted "Ritualistic" Brown

I'm sure each and every one of you is very much aware of the fact that "The Walking Dead" premiered last night on AMC. I'm also sure that most if not all of you were posted in front of your televisions with drool trickling down your chins, after you quickly realized this was not a trick in any form but the purest of treats.

As a fan of the comics and also a fan of the horror genre I was beyond pleased with how the opening episode unfolded. The entire time I felt as if I had been tossed into a time machine and returned to the golden days of zombie films, "Night of The Living Dead", "Dawn of The Dead", and "Day of The Dead", for a moment in time I returned home to when Romero was the king and released only solid gold zombie goodness.

It was a wonderful night to be a horror fan, and I believe it will go down in horror history as a very important night as well. I was so blown away by how much gore AMC got away with in "The Walking Dead", from the blood splattering head shots, to the impressive zombie make up, special FX wise I would not have changed one thing. It's going to be interesting to see how many people go out and buy the books now that they have been exposed to the franchise.

** WARNING SPOILERS BEYOND THIS POINT **

The intro really sucked me in right away, and I have to say when that first little girl zombie showed her face I felt myself squeaking like a school girl inside. The slow burn of showing you the degree of the sudden zombie uprising was incredible; the thought of waking up in a hospital in a world you no longer recognize is truly terrifying. "The Walking Dead" in my opinion did a flawless job at creating tension as well, when Rick Grimes (Andrew Lincoln), came around the corner and we got our first glimpse at an actual horde of flesh craving zombies, it quickly became a scream out loud in happiness situation. Not to mention how intense it was during the tank scene, when he put the gun to his head I stopped everything I was doing and just stared in anticipation, one of my favorite moments from this first episode.

Rewinding a bit, I also loved the scenes showing that Rick's wife and children are very much alive, but in the hands of someone else close and dear to him. AMC did such an excellent job at creating the same human emotion and atmosphere that the graphic novels have always created, a feat that I'm sure was not easy I for one am just happy to see that AMC treated the franchise with care and really did it justice.

Of course we cannot forget the horse being ripped to shreds, inside the back of my mind all I could think is R.I.P Rhoads, a name I felt would be fitting for the horse considering its method of demise.

"The Walking Dead" was the perfect graphic novel series to translate into a television series in my opinion, with its large array of deep and memorable characters, and one of the best zombie related stories to come along in ages, I could not be happier with what it in either media form.

I cannot wait to experience the first season of "The Walking Dead" and have a feeling it's going to be a show that sticks around for a very long time to come.

My Top 3 Scenes
1. The tank scene
2. Morgan unable to kill wife scene
3. The horse torn to shreads

- Ted "Ritualistic" Brown