Photos from Fright Night Theatre presents A CADAVER CHRISTMAS

On December 16th, Horror in the Hammer brought some holiday Ho-Ho-Ho-Horror to Hamilton with its screening of the zombie comedy A Cadaver Christmas at The Staircase Cafe Theatre.

A Cadaver Christmas -- director Joe Zerull's loving homage to the grindhouse days of indie cinema (now available on DVD and VOD from Level 33 Entertainment) -- proved the perfect set piece for an early evening of fear and Christmas festivities. With stockings full of freebies from our sponsors at Burdin's Comics, Bayshore Hobbies, Crash Landing, and Alice Hearts Welsh Zombies, Horror in the Hammer made sure Christmas came early to every lucky boil and ghoul who joined us! 

The Host, Jay Winger, begins his holiday makeover at the hands of HITH director Aaron Allen

As horror fans gathered outside the main theatre for drinks and to buy their tickets for our raffle contest, Horror in the Hammer volunteers were as busy as Santa's elves setting up for the show. Unfortunately, The Host -- Jay Winger -- hadn't been seen since last month's screening of Snow Shark. Few people realize that, in order to transform into The Host and put on Fright Night Theatre, Jay must call upon the evil powers of his Shiny Pants. Last month, he forgot to revoke that power, and we feared that the evil of his pants had driven him to wanton acts of murder. Thankfully, Jay managed to stumble in before the show began. In order to suppress the dark power of the pants, Horror in the Hammer director Aaron Allen decided to subject Jay to a holiday wardrobe makeover. Nothing says "Christmas" like a knitted sweater adorned with Scottish Terriers and - yes - shoulder pads.

Makeover Complete. Shiny Pants powered-down.

With the power of the Shiny Pants in check, it was time to begin yet another fantastic Fright Night Theatre presentation.

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A big thanks is due to director Joe Zerull and everyone at Level 33 entertainment as well as everyone who came out for A Cadaver Christmas. Check out all the fun you missed in this photo gallery from December's show (photos by Kenny Pereira of Shout Studio).

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Horror fans assemble at The Staircase Cafe Theatre

Aaron draws the winner for our first prize pack

Tina working her box office magic.

Fright Night attendees, just slightly more traumatized than when they came in

Two Fright Night patrons with impeccable horror trivia knowledge.

Did they survive? That's for the courts to decide.

Aaron and Jay draw for our Christmas gift packs

WARLOCK (Review)

WARLOCK (1989)

review by AARON ALLEN

Directed by Steve Miner

Starring Julian Sands, Lori Singer and Richard E. Grant
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Back in 2011 while Harry Potter fever was gripping video stores upon the release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - Part I, I decided to turn my attention to a different tale of witchcraft and wizardry: Warlock.

Released in 1989, Warlock was a film I never had much opportunity to see as a kid although my friends who rented it used to talk about it at school. 22 years later, I finally delved into Warlock courtesy of the bewitching magic that is Netflix. After all this time, has Warlock's magic waned? Did it have any to begin with?

I'm so pretty, oh so pretty...

In the 17th century, an evil Warlock (Julian Sands) is sentenced to death. Before the expert witch-hunter Giles Redferne (Richard E. Grant) can carry out the sentence, however, the Warlock opens a rift in time and space that transports them to Los Angeles in the late 1980s. Clearly, the late 1980s must have been a very backwards time for fashion when you stop to realize that the Warlock's dress and behaviour raise so few suspicions in 1989 despite the fact that he literally crashes through someone's window. Surrounded by other 80's hipsters, the Warlock's ponytail, shoeless feet, and black frock seem ultra-modern. It's even hard to distinguish the Warlock from other late 80's yuppies. Both are arrogant, pretentious, and self-serving, but whereas 80's yuppies might be violent while on a coke bender, the Warlock is wicked by definition: he lives to curse and kill people who get in his way. His satanic mission: locate the separated pages of the Grand Grimoire, an evil book that contains the true name of God. If spoken in reverse, the name of God will reverse all of creation. It's up to ditzy Kassandra with a 'k' (Lori Singer) and time-displaced witch-hunter Redferne to stop him. What begins as a promising supernatural thriller devolves into a dumb road movie full of lifeless time travel jokes and a story that is more interested in developing a lame-duck romance than any kind of horror.

Warlock say, "Why put soup in a bowl when you can eat it right out of the can?"

In terms of violence, which I always recall my friends describing, the Warlock manages to do his fair share of damage. Basically, the Warlock is a dick: he'll kill you just for the fun of it. Some tongues are ripped out and some eyeballs are plucked, but all the extreme violence (the killing of a child) happens off screen. Most of the time Sands is on screen as the Warlock he's not terribly scary. Prissy and hammy, the Warlock starts to lose credibility the moment he floats through the air like Peter Pan and is twarted by a weather vane. The mild horror he wrought is essentially negated. Something tells me he's not Hogwart's material.

The Warlock only has eyes for you

In additon, the time travel angle makes Warlock insufferably cheesy.  The movie spends way too much time trying to develop an awkward love connection between Kassandra and the hairy-vested Redferne. He's a fish out of water in the modern world, but hilarity certainly does not ensue when the script tries to turn Kassandra from a self-absorbed and annoying airhead into a viable love interest for Redferne by making her bond with him over his bewilderment at modern technology. These scenes completely drag and essentially killed this movie for me.

The Past and Future of Fashion Crime

On top of this flat romance, Redferne isn't much of a character: he spends most of the film simply explaining a number of silly old-world rules about witches and warlocks with which to fight Julian Sands. On the one hand, it's neat that the film abides by (and surely invents) some archaic beliefs about witches (such as that milk curdles in their presence). This gives Redferne plenty of avenues for tracking the Warlock. On the other hand, these same rules also make the Warlock vulnerable to a silly degree. No matter how strong he becomes, he's extremely vulnerable to salt. Just plain old salt. Dump a bucket of tears on him. Push him into the ocean. Trick him into eating french fries at McDonald's. All this will kill him. How scary or impressive can a villain be when the very powers of Satan he wields can be bested by one of the most common of all food seasonings?

For a movie about a killer man-witch, Warlock is insufferably dull. If not for the somewhat quirky witchcraft rules and the mildly amusing violence that follows in the Warlock's path, Warlock would be a complete pass. As it stands, however, the Warlock could stand to take a seriously harsh lesson from Voldemort in what it means to be a real badass magic man.

A version of this review originally appeared on monsterchiller.blogspot.com

GAME OF WEREWOLVES (Review) - Toronto After Dark

GAME OF WEREWOLVES (2011)

*Toronto Premiere*

review by AARON ALLEN 

Directed by Juan Martinez Moreno
Starring: Carlos Areces, Secun de la Rose, Gorka Otxoa
 -------------------------------------------    

There's only one curse worse than the curse of the werewolf: the curse of unfulfilled expectations

Of all the films I was most looking forward to at Toronto After Dark 2012, Game of Werewolves was at the top of my list. Promising practical werewolf makeup, an exotic Spanish locale, and a mixture of horror and comedy, Game of Werewolves actually turned out to be a hit-or-miss game of cinematic musical chairs that never finds a firm seat in the horror, comedy, or action genre.

After an intriguing animated opening sequence explaining how the rural village of Galicia, Spain was doomed by a werewolf curse for 100 years, we are introduced to Tomás (Gorka Otxoa), a writer looking to return to his roots in Galicia and write his next novel. Unbeknownst to him, the locals who are planning to throw Tomás a hometown hero's welcome have sinister ulterior motives. After a series of bumbling mistakes, Tomás, his shady agent Mario (Secun de la Rosa), and Tomás's childhood friend Calisto (Carlos Areces) accidentally release a howling, murderous beast into the village. Then things get really hairy when Tomas and friends attempt to break the curse but only make things worse.

He cut himself shaving.

I have a real soft spot for the aesthetics of Spanish werewolves, especially the ones played by legendary Spanish horror actor Paul Naschy. While I prefer my North American werewolves to look as wolf-like as possible, I have a great fondness for the "Big Foot" werewolf of Spain: a man in a big hairy monster suit with more or less human features. Game of Werewolves certainly brings all the wolf I was looking for, packing the screen with an army of shaggy lycanthropes brought to life via the magic of practical makeup FX.

Imagine the smell of all that burned hair.

Unfortunately, Game of Werewolves wastes its werewolves. Aside from standing around snarling into the camera, these creatures really don't do much to threaten the heroes, and they're about as easy to kill as zombies. One or two well-placed shots from a pistol or shotgun are enough to bring down one of these hairy marauders. It seems a real shame to put so much effort into creating some great looking beasts and not give them much to do except jump around (on the assistance of wires) and die.

The Fearless Werewolf Killers

Worst of all, Game of Werewolves neither commits to its horror nor its humour elements, so it feels consistently half-finished. Except for an outrageous scene involving a severed finger, the jokes left me either lukewarm or completely cold. Perhaps the flavor is all in the language and something is lost in translation. Then again, except for one or two creepy moments early in the movie before the frame explodes with werewolves, Game of Werewolves is rarely scary -- and fear is an international language. Game of Werewolves tries to do lot of everything and ends up giving not much of anything. North America has been unable to produce a werewolf movie to satisfy me since Gingersnaps, and I had high hopes that Game of Werewolves would finally scratch the itch I've had for a good werewolf picture. Looks like I'll have to keep hunting.

Does anyone remember where we parked?

Game of Werewolves should be praised for its makeup effects, but it failed to satisfy this reviewer's hunger for the wolf.

THE DEAD WALK TOMORROW - RAIN OR SHINE

Tomorrow is the 2012 Hamilton Zombie Walk! Rain or shine, the Hamilton Horde will shamble through the streets from GORE PARK to BAYFRONT PARK in search of brains while raising food donations in support of the Hamilton Dream Center.

Pre-Walk

FREE MAKEUP (ages 12+) @ Central Library (11:30am - 1:00pm)

The Walk

START: GORE PARK @ 2pm

END: BAYFRONT PARK @ 3pm (approx.)

PUBLIC ZOMBIE WEDDING @ Bayfront Park (3:15pm-3:45pm)

Witness the zombie wedding of Horror in the Hammer's Aaron Allen and Tina Hall. Aaron (incoming director of Horror in the Hammer) will be marrying his amazing girlfriend Tina as any true horror fan would: in a blood-soaked zombie ceremony. All are invited to witness the ceremony at Bayfront Park wearing your best and bloodiest!

Post-Walk

FREE MOVIE: Zombieland (ages 14-19) @ Central Library. 4:30pm-6:00pm.

FREE ZOMBIE WALK AFTER PARTY (19+) @ This Ain't Hollywood. 6 - 9pm (345 James Street North).

- Free performance by THE nOBLE SAVAGES
- Raffle Prizes and Costume Contest!
- DJ Rufus Flypaper spinning Horror Records

BANDS (19+) @ This Ain't Hollywood. 6 - 9pm (345 James Street North).
- COVER: $10 for humans. $6 for zombies.
- The Poisoned Aeros with Jumple and Krypcreeper
 

GRABBERS (Review) - Toronto After Dark

GRABBERS (2012)

*Toronto Premiere*

review by AARON ALLEN 

Directed by John Wight
Starring: Richard Coyle, Ruth Bradley, Russell Tovey
 -------------------------------------------    

There are plenty of excuses in this life to get stinking drunk.

Divorce, for example. Bereavement, for another. College, of course. But how about getting completely shitfaced to increase your chances of surviving an attack from blood-thirsty tentacle monsters? Bet you didn’t see that one coming.

In Grabbers (from Irish director John Wright and Irish writer Kevin Lehane), the small fishing village of Erin Island suddenly finds itself under attack by squid-like alien creatures. These blood-thirsty creatures emerge from the sea and attack with whip-sharp barbed tongues that pierce their victims and suck them dry. They thrive on blood and water, but have one fatal weakness: a severe allergy to alcohol. To save their own lives, the isolated residents of Erin Island must do serious damage to their livers as they pound back the beers and the liquor in hopes of staying out of the slimy grasp of the grabbers!

Not yer average catch o'the mornin'

In tone, Grabbers pulls much of its influence from monster and critter films like Tremors with more than a little Gremlins and Jaws thrown into the mix, but its distinctive Irish setting and memorable cast of oddball characters does for monster movies what Shaun of the Dead did for zombies: elevate a relatively tired genre to a place of sharp comedy without losing sight of the scares thanks to its European wit and raucous combination of the horrific and the hilarious.

It's quite a whale of a tale. (forgive me)

While the monsters take most of the spotlight, Grabbers is supported by a wonderful cast of characters led by Ciaran (Richard Coyle), an alcoholic local cop, and Lisa (the ever-so-funny and gorgeous Ruth Bradley), his new straight-laced partner. Along with the town’s lovable old coot (Lalor Roddy), the local marine ecologist (a brilliant turn by Russell Tovey from the UK Being Human), Ciaran and Lisa follow the predictable monster movie formula, even finding the perquisite odd couple romance we’ve seen time and time again. However, while hitting every monster movie cliche imaginable, Grabbers embraces the B-movie structure but gives it a good spit and polish with some genius ideas and fresh gags. Grabbers plays its humor straight as an arrow that hits the mark each time, with rising hilarity as the film goes on. While never winking to the audience or taking itself too seriously, Grabbers is a near-perfect blend of horror and comedy. It's neither too gory nor too silly but is, instead, full of Irish flavour (the scenery is breathtaking) and never veers into the cheese-ball world of excessive Irish stereotyping of which American cinema is guilty (faith and begorrah!).

The most hilarious monster-fighting arsenal ever assembled

Accomplished special effects and CGI creature design round out this wonderful twist on the monster movie formula. A joyous B-movie with something for everyone, Grabbers was overwhelmingly cheered by the crowd in attendance at The Bloor Hot Docs Cinema for the opening night of Toronto After Dark. I wouldn't be surprised if it were a strong contender for best picture of the festival. Charming as feck, Grabbers had its Toronto audience hook, line, and sinker.

Just wait until Grabbers gets ahold of you!

HAMILTON ZOMBIE WALK (Oct 27, 2012)

The 6th annual Hamilton Zombie Walk will invade the streets of Hamilton on October 27, 2012. 

The Hamilton Zombie Walk and Charity Food Drive will begin at 2:00pm at Gore Park and end at Bayfront Park where Horror in the Hammer members Tina and Aaron will be having a short, public zombie wedding. 
 Event is rain or shine, and please bring a nonperishable food donation for charity.

For full event details, visit HAMILTONZOMBIEWALK.COM


Join the official 2012 Facebook event page
Join the Facebook group
Follow @HamZombieWalk 

And don't forget about our spook-tacular 19+ parties at This Ain't Hollywood (345 James Street North).

HAMILTON ZOMBIE WALK: OCTOBER 27, 2012

The 2012 HAMILTON ZOMBIE WALK is coming! October 27, 2012. 

Stay tuned for further updates. Follow @HamZombieWalk on Twitter and join The Hamilton Zombie Walk Facebook page.

Brought to you by Horror in the Hammer.