Hard Ride To Hell (2010) Review

“Hard Ride To Hell” is a little bit of a hodge-podge. It mixes elements from several classic films, most notably, “The Hills Have Eyes”, while maintaining to be marginally unique. The story follows a group of friends, traveling in an RV across the wide open nothing, in order to reach a secluded camp-site for some much needed R&R. Once they arrive, they meet a traveling knife salesman, who we'll be introduced to a little more fully later in the film. Dirk, played impressively by Brandon Jay Mclaren, whom is a tabloid journalist, stumbles upon what appears to be a motorcycle gang, preparing to rape a large group of women. Of course, Dirk takes it upon himself to begin recording the act. Gone missing from the camp for quite a while, Dirk's concerned friend Danny tries to reach him via walkie-talkie, which of course alerts the bikers, and the madness begins.

“Hard Ride” isn't a bad film, it's just so infested with elements of other films that every frame feels like you've seen it before. As mentioned before, it borrows a tremendous amount of it's setup from “The Hills Have Eyes” , group of people in a recreational vehicle, being stalked and killed by madmen. The difference being, the madmen in “Hard Ride” are not cannibals, nor are they mutants. They're more like a zombie/demon motorcycle gang from hell with the gift of immortality.





As the flick begins, it's set in old western times, of course, before the invention of the motorcycle, so our gang of demonic flesh eaters are on horseback. Funnily enough, they already have their “gang patch” on the back of their dusters. The story it's self is sort of a jumbled mess. Jefe, played by the awesome Miguel Ferrer, is some sort of pastor, who is banished from his congregation when he tries to suggest to them that consuming human flesh grants the gift of eternal life. Jefe forms his own posse, and starts rounding up hot women, both for the purpose of consuming their flesh, and searching for a special woman who is able to bear his child without miscarrying. Also thrown into the mix, is the grandson of a man murdered by Jefe, who carries a mysterious amulet, that apparently has the power to stop the evil, but it must be used by someone else that is evil before it will serve it's purpose. What a mouthful.

The acting in the film is well above par, with great performances in particular from Miguel Ferrer, Brandon Jay Mclaren, and the beautiful Katharine Isabelle, whom you will remember from both Ginger Snaps, and Freddy Vs. Jason. There were no real problems with the performance of the supporting cast, but the three people mentioned are the real bread and butter of the movie. I know films are ruined for some people if cheesy acting is involved, but there's none of that here, so there's nothing to worry about on that front.





The overall look and feel is visually appealing. It's clear from the marketing, and the cover art that they were aiming to pay homage to drive-in exploitation, but it's really a little too polished to be considered as such. A lot of the time, low budget flicks are hampered by the budget, in the form of the often times visually unappealing DIY look and feel. Despite the many problems with “Hard Ride” it definitely looks like most of the money went into the the camera/lighting.

I suppose there is a little bit of blood and gore, nothing to write home about though. There's a limb severing, and several dozen scenes where flesh is torn from peoples skin via teeth, but nothing over the top or brutal. Personally I wish they would have scaled back the pretty editing and poured a little more cash into the special FX. Don't get me wrong, what we see is practical, and it looks good, there's just not very much of it, and what is present lacks variety.




The third act of the film re-introduces us to the traveling knife sales men mentioned earlier. Though, now he's pissed off, and as was hinted at earlier by a tattoo on his arm, he has some form of special forces training. With an endless repertoire of various knives, he battles the evil demonic zombies, in an attempt to save the lives of our campers. I find it a little hard to believe, special forces training or not, that one can take on a horde of immortal demon bikers with a set of knives. Granted, he lacks the ability to actually kill them, but he sure fucks them up for a good while. Have these zombie/demons survived all this time, having never encountered a a tussle? Nevertheless, it's quite nonsensical, but it does add a bit of action to the films finale.

Speaking of the finale, what a terrible ending. If anything damned this film to low score hell, it was that ending. I'm not going to spoil anything, but suffice it to say, after sitting through what seems like 40 minutes of Chuck Norris' cousin knife fighting a horde of demons, saying the ending is anti-climactic would be a complete understatement. After all is said and done, “Hard Ride To Hell” has more aspiration than it can deliver. It looks great, has a great cast, but ultimately fails due to a paper thin plot that dwindles into complete nonsense by the end of the film. It's certainly a better movie than you would find on SyFy late at night, but that isn't exactly high praise. I don't regret watching it, I just wish that the writers would have been on a different type of drugs when they wrote the script.



5/10